Sometimes I find myself thinking of you. The moments we shared, the memories we made. Oh how I wish I could erase them from my mind. The more I think of you the more I hurt. It hurts remembering the feeling of your lips touching mine, or the feeling of your hand fitting perfecting against my back. It was like my body was built with you in mind. Everything about you was perfect for me. But then you turned into a monster. Nothing would stop you. You would knock down everything in your way. All that mattered was you. Day by day you continuously broke my heart. I did everything I could to keep you happy and in my life. But nothing was good enough. You were killing everything that got in your way, even yourself. I always believed you would snap out of it and go back to the good boy I knew. But that never happened. And now you’re gone. And I wish I didn’t think of you. I wish i could live a happy life. But it’s hard to get over the boy who broke your heart.
You don’t realize how alone you are until you’re staying up every night thinking about things you should never think of and you cant tell anybody because you have nobody to tell.
Sometimes I think I shouldn’t let you come back. This has all gone on too long. It is so hard to love someone so inconstant, someone who is so often fading before my eyes. But I know I will always welcome your return. The way you crack open the sky to come home to me. It is all I can do to bathe in your brilliance. Beautiful, after all this time you still control my every move. I become such a monster when I miss you. Darling, it is always so dark when you’re gone.
I remember my grandmother saying a collection of words that made me tilt my head sideways and
I remember one day she was standing
She began telling me more about my grandfather
And then leaned back and smiled lightly to herself
My feet touched the hardwood floor as I introduced myself and was welcomed by smiles
Soon your family began remising about the past and it was like watching
I guess you could say